I’m sure anyone who is a parent can relate to the overwhelming feeling of love and protectiveness that you have for your children. You cannot understand the intensity of the emotions until you actually have children of your own. It isn’t just a cliche. It’s true. Nothing can prepare you for it. No metaphorical comparison has ever been drawn that captures the depth of those feelings.
And once you are a parent, those feelings for your children never go away.
Thankfully.
And now you might expect me to dive into a story about something that happened to my wee beasts that made my heart thump. But I’m not going to.
This is about my parents, who I think might be the best parents in the world.
I know. That’s not generally considered a cool thing for a 30-something to say. The abundance of jokes about moms and the need for therapy runs pretty rampant. But I am a 30-something who is a good, kind, modestly successful, well-adjusted human being. No therapists needed.
And I attribute that to having good parents.
I’m not sure I could even think of something bad to say about them to a therapist. Let’s see what I can come up with…
1. They were overly-strict.
Well, they were strict, but I think rules and boundaries are good for kids. I didn’t end up in much trouble because they laid down the law and I knew there would be consequences if I broke the rules. I guess that isn’t a bad thing.
2. They didn’t respect my independence and never let me make my own decisions.
Hmmm, actually…they did. I’ve always been a pretty independent person and have been very strong-willed. (They might refer to that as “stubborn.”) They might have given advice or asked me questions to ensure I’d given plenty of thought to things, but they left decisions up to me. If I made mistakes, they were supportive but let me learn the lessons I needed to learn. So #2 just doesn’t apply.
3. They were are affectionate with each other in front of us.
As a teenager, this is an ICK. I mean, who wants to think of your parents as kissie-smoochie people? But over all, I guess that being affectionate after so many years of marriage isn’t so bad. It actually teaches kids about good relationships, compared to all of the negative ones pointed out in statistics and portrayed on TV and in movies. So, sorry Mr. Therapist. I can’t really give you this one either.
4. They are dorky and embarrassing.
Ok. We might have one here. What parents are really cool? Let me rephrase: What good parents are really cool? Parents who try to be cool try to be their kids’ friends instead of being the parental authority figure that kids need. Yes, my parents are dorky. My dad tells the same stories at every holiday gathering. And he is usually the one laughing the entire time while the rest of us roll our eyes because we know exactly what he’s going to say. Then there is my mom. Yes, she wears “mom jeans.” Horrible, right? I might need some therapy to get over these atrocities.
No, my parents aren’t so bad. In fact, they are pretty amazing.
Over the past few months, as I move from being a corporate employee to starting my own business and as The Doc transforms and expands his business, we’ve been under a lot of stress. And my parents check in with us to make sure we’re doing okay all the time. They don’t live close, so they call every week to talk about what is happening, how we’re feeling, to offer counsel and advice, and just to listen.
They want the best for me and my family. They want to protect us from struggling too much and are being incredibly strong and generous. I can’t thank them enough.
It’s clear that the parental love and parenting instincts never go away. And I’m so glad for that.
So since it’s so hard to define what those feelings are like, I hope that by posting this for all the world to see, they know how much I appreciate who they are, what they do, and that I’m lucky to be one of their kids.
I love you, Mom and Dad. Thank you.
